i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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