im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
