but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
