I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Randomize
