Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
