Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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