some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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