You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
