someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
