oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
