Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Randomize
