OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
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