I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
