hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
