a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize
