the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
