I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
