i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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