after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Rumble strips road head = magical
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
