I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
