Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
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