Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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