My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
