Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
