you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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