I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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