IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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