I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
