i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
