forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
