My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
