if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
