Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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