Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
