Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
