Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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