And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
it's great music for shaving your balls
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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