We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
