someone threw a dead crab at me
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
