Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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