I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
