Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
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He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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