google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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