its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
