i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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