I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
