drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
