Texts From Last Night

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  (904): View more from Florida

  watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..

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  (904): watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too.. http://tfl.nu/rujn
  Replies (9) Good night (3422) Bad night (681)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.

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  (419): Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name. http://tfl.nu/pkap
  Replies (6) Good night (3703) Bad night (641)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!

  (1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.

  (1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I love tequila.

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  (902): WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?! (1-902): I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey. (1-902): I love tequila. http://tfl.nu/s92h
  Replies (46) Good night (6857) Bad night (905)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.

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  (908): Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at. http://tfl.nu/8pgv
  Replies (8) Good night (951) Bad night (4338)
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  (585): View more from New York

  you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish

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  (585): you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish http://tfl.nu/f18y
  Replies (17) Good night (8456) Bad night (955)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.

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  (509): Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico. http://tfl.nu/evuy
  Replies (13) Good night (5674) Bad night (1124)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music

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  (440): You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music http://tfl.nu/f2pv
  Replies (49) Good night (18278) Bad night (1560)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him

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  (513): 4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him http://tfl.nu/uj7g
  Replies (3) Good night (2578) Bad night (861)
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  (818): View more from California

  Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)

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  (818): Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now) http://tfl.nu/gh6j
  Replies (23) Good night (757) Bad night (1211)
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  (607): View more from New York

  I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?

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  (607): I drank butter last night, who am I to judge? http://tfl.nu/jfzo
  Replies (3) Good night (473) Bad night (880)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.

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  (571): I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success. http://tfl.nu/s9uu
  Replies (4) Good night (1208) Bad night (383)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success

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  (479): Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success http://tfl.nu/iacd
  Replies (0) Good night (950) Bad night (307)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD

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  (604): All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD http://tfl.nu/xdt2
  Replies (5) Good night (538) Bad night (289)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?

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  (330): Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to? http://tfl.nu/t7h6
  Replies (3) Good night (367) Bad night (486)
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  (818): View more from California

  the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.

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  (818): the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after. http://tfl.nu/qgkf
  Replies (4) Good night (348) Bad night (545)

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