Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(646): View more from New York

I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.

(347): View more from New York

And what brought this epiphany?

(646): View more from New York

I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later

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(646): I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on. (347): And what brought this epiphany? (646): I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later http://tfl.nu/hsai

Replies (27) Good night (3455) Bad night (630)
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(631): View more from New York

I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks

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(631): I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks http://tfl.nu/hotd

Replies (244) Good night (1120) Bad night (3905)
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(313): View more from Michigan

And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono

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(313): And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono http://tfl.nu/k8o2

Replies (17) Good night (3940) Bad night (1941)
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(566): View more from

According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !

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(566): According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE ! http://tfl.nu/odei

Replies (25) Good night (821) Bad night (3105)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.

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(608): The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer. http://tfl.nu/u1k3

Replies (17) Good night (9753) Bad night (1400)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.

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(781): Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person. http://tfl.nu/31bd

Replies (3) Good night (2681) Bad night (1380)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me

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(703): Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me http://tfl.nu/ff5t

Replies (8) Good night (2892) Bad night (931)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup

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(978): karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup http://tfl.nu/ujf4

Replies (8) Good night (1646) Bad night (677)
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(386): View more from Florida

Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.

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(386): Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here. http://tfl.nu/vy2d

Replies (6) Good night (2041) Bad night (794)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?

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(615): Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night? http://tfl.nu/hddi

Replies (11) Good night (1990) Bad night (542)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.

(615): View more from Tennessee

My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.

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(601): The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know. (615): My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens. http://tfl.nu/91vw

Replies (10) Good night (1885) Bad night (490)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here

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(615): you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here http://tfl.nu/rzkr

Replies (2) Good night (1133) Bad night (401)
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(330): View more from Ohio

I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.

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(330): I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why. http://tfl.nu/4y6b

Replies (3) Good night (997) Bad night (289)
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(206): View more from Washington

I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.

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(206): I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going. http://tfl.nu/6m0q

Replies (4) Good night (589) Bad night (287)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that

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(908): it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that http://tfl.nu/wsh1

Replies (1) Good night (414) Bad night (220)

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