Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

I molested 6 butterflies tonight

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(503): View more from Oregon

You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I'm in love with you.

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

huh?

(860): View more from Connecticut

Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(770): View more from Georgia

I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think

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(815): View more from Illinois

Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time

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(813): View more from Florida

We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.

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