But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
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the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
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You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho