What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
