she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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