Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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