you have to choose: penises or morals?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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