wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
