Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
