thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
