Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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