what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
