I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
where am i from again
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
