Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
