a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
