An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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