I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
