You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
