Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
