Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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