my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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