He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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